The Week in Bloggingportal: News from European carrier pigeons

Carrier pigeon bringing news of a Socialist victory in France

We here at the ivory towers do not know for sure who won the French presidential elections last week. We are still waiting for the postman to transport the letter with the official results through the well-established European network of postal horse exchange stations and to arrive here at the towers.

What we know is that quite a number of carrier pigeons (lat. Columba bloga) brought messages mentioning a certain François Hollande: Some suspect he will be involved in quarrels with German empress Angela I. Some put great hopes in his democratic and European spirit. Yet others predict that he might strengthen her Majesty’s prime minister. There seems to be an agreement that he has to care for the economic situation of France, and that new methods are needed to also solve the European crisis.

Our Southern carrier pigeon stations report a high influx of messages written in Greek letters. They bring news of chaos, a radical left, a radical right as well as tendencies of the country to leave the European monetary empire in a state of complete denial. Only Europe’s policy pope Durão Barroso is still ignoring these carrier pigeon messages and invites the European policy bishops to travel to Greece – probably to get rid of them and to become the God of the Never-to-Come United States of Europe.

While we are still trying to decrypt all the Greek messages, post riders who started their journeys months ago in the Kingdom of Belgium brought news from vassal writers all around the continent to our ivory towers:

A prince in the European chamber is accused of conflicting interests. An unknown committee has been discharged. Our European borders are at risk. Those women rebel again and want to oust men from alchemy. The Council of royal advisors refuses a green agriculture, despite opposing voices, and prevents unworthy citizens from knowing where its gold is spent. The naval forces of Europe start to get serious about who will get most of the fish. And Europeans intend to sell the spears collectively, but have difficulties to agree.

We also receive worrying news from our spies placed in all the crucial places in Europe: The Irish are grasping for the European throne and threaten to block crucial decisions. Hungary faces dominion from foreign powers. The castle of Strasbourg is under constant attack. The Swedes are celebrating Europe, probably also to grasp for the throne. The chair of the European citizen chamber wants to rule, too. The Dutch digital queen wants to rule the virtual world. But Pope Durão controls everything while pretending to give powers to the citizens. This is why he will now be invited to the knights of the round table.

The State of the Union, we read from all those frightening messages, is bad, and we ask ourselves: What is the underlying reason for all this? We feel that we are so far, yet so close to a situation where it is even possible that the island of Cyprus may rule the European continent!? We wonder how to get out of this dangerous situation, and we suspect that we need to try something new. We now wait for the postman from China to bring new ideas!

Post scriptum: A French postman with the strange Hungarian name Sarkozy just arrived, half dead, confirming that François Hollande is now ruling France. The postman says he will continue to ride to Hungary now to save it from foreign dominion.

Picture by cdresz on flickr | CC BY-NC 2.0

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[...] and hard to ignore were the victories of a certain Hollande and of an uncertain Golden Dawn. The Irish decided to stay in while Mathew decided to leave. Both the Eurozone and Schengen were [...]

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